5 Unique and Powerful ways to Boost Your Confidence

 5 Unique and Powerful ways to Boost Your Confidence

Order in court! The trial has begun! With gossip, intrigue, mystery and suspense dangling in the air, everyone is ready to partake in this investigative journey of life - in order to reach a favourable outcome.

But are we to continue to be guilty of insecurity (like I was for many, many, many years) or will we be innocent of all wrong doing and plead confident after this article? (Like where I am currently in life and have been for a while.) Well dear sleuths, there's a load of interesting ground to cover so let's smoke our imaginary detective pipe and get started.

1. Change your perception. (At number one we are talking about physical appearance only.)

During those dark, stormy winter nights of my life I always felt I wasn't attractive enough and this caused me to become insecure. And I'm guessing many of you have felt or feeling this way. #AmIRight?

I would look at other women and badly craved wanting a smaller forehead, defined cheekbones and slimmer arms. I didn't even realise I was thinking this way but if I got dressed I would focus on those attributes I wasn't proud of and if I came across a women who physically had what I desired, it would make my self esteem sink even lower. I would always think they were pretty and I wasn't. (Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.) 

Then one day it just hit me, like a murder crime that had been solved after years and years! The killer was me! Why did I think having a bigger forehead, fatter arms and less defined cheekbones made me ugly??

No seriously why?

Many gorgeous ladies and female celebrities have big foreheads, bigger arms and don't always have strong cheekbones! So why did I construe these traits as ugly? Maybe society had something to do with it plus some of the people around me, but as soon as I realised that I could change my perception from, "I hate my forehead, arms and cheeks," to "hey, I love my big forehead, arms and cute cheeks! I'm going to be happy with all my features because society and people have no right to define what makes someone pretty!"

And once I started doing this, it became a game changer.

Confident Woman

Now sleuths, look at yourself. I'm sure while reading this article you began to relate, but with your own insecurities. What is it about yourself that you have always found "unpretty" because society said so? 

 Once you answer that, change your perception. 

A big nose doesn't mean ugly. I have a friend with a big nose and she's super gorgeous and never shy of attention despite media who usually make it seem like a big or crooked nose equates to being less good looking. In the same light being chubby or curvy or slim or tall or short, or having small or big breasts is by no means unattractive at all! 

Once again, look at how many different females fit into these categories and that are extremely hot! Keira Knightley, Lizzo, Emilia Clarke (who is 5'2"), Nicole Kidman (who is 5'9") Selma Hayek etc. and others you may personally know.

Once you change your perception on how you look at yourself in a negative light, you will begin to see that these things you were distraught about were not really that bad in the first place and you will begin to realise that there are other things also about you that are beautiful. 

(After I changed my outlook about my "bad" traits and embraced them, I began to focus more on the features I always liked about myself, like my full lips and big brown eyes. This gave me a powerful confidence lift because I was no longer morose about my physical appearance - I was content with everything I had and it showed!)

Now the trick is, for YOU TO BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE. Don't ever let others tell you that looking like this or that or having a big/small so and so is an eye sore! It really isn't.

And what do those idiots know anyway? They're not perfect either. As for social media - pictures aren't always what you see! Those "perfect" selfies are inundated with filters and distortions to hide blemishes. Trust me!

So love everything about you.

However, there may be one or two things that you can and want to improve on within yourself and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you choose to improve certain features in a healthy and safe way, or for health reasons and do it because it will make YOU satisfied! Don't ever feel like you need to change or alter your appearance or be unhappy with something about yourself because society, parents, spouses, other halves, friends etc said so. This is about YOU and what makes YOU feel on top of the world!

Like for me, a bit of makeup used correctly and subtly gives me higher cheekbones and that makes me happy. I don't have naturally defined cheekbones, but I'm hey I'm good with that!

As for my arms, I realised that it ain't that fat and it was misconception on my part to have thought that way, so I'm now content with what I've got and the only thing I aim for these days is to be healthy!

And that's the approach you should take.
Never ever call any part of you ugly or be ungrateful with what you have. Because if we all had the same weight, height and features it would be a really boring world!

Accepting everything you have, improving what YOU want whilst maintaining a positive attitude and changing your negative perception about yourself is a truly powerful way to boost confidence.

2. Know who you are and what you want. (At number two we are going to talk about inner traits and not necessarily outward appearance. Ooh, this trial is sizzling up!)

Have you ever read a book or watched a movie that moved you in some way or made you think deeply about things? Or watched the news and became really passionate about what you heard?

I'm sure you have! This is because we all have certain things that causes a reaction in us. But not necessarily in others. (Not everyone cried for the The Notebook, but I cried dammit! Boy did I cry! And this was due to the romantic in me.) This is a great telltale sign of who we are; observing what moves us, or what causes a tear or laugh or that determination in us.  

Another example I shall willingly share with you. I always wanted to be a businesswoman and have my own business but because I grew up a quiet kid (thanks to a very strict upbringing I had), people always laughed at me or dismissed me when I said that. 

But I knew deep down in my heart I had a feisty smart business mind, I could be an excellent leader, I was a people's person and I could focus well, amongst other things. Without a doubt I was aware of my strengths! And even though people closest to me put me down by saying otherwise, I refused to let that deter me. Because I knew myself better than even the closest person in my life knew me and I was right!

Therefore the above pieces of evidence shows how we are not all the same. Our passions and thoughts and mindset is different to others and only we know ourselves better than anyone else.

Now take a notepad out. A tangible one or do this on your phone or PC and write down traits about yourself that you like. 

Leave out the criticisms and hesitations and go for it! Be complimentary and honest. Maybe you know you're a kind person. Or you're someone that easily makes others laugh. Maybe you're smart, empathetic, a hard worker, loyal etc. Write down the attributes about yourself you know that are worth mentioning.

Now on the next column write down your hobbies and what makes you passionate. Is it sport or computers or dancing or writing? Well jot it down!

Once you have written this then keep it with you for as long as you can and try and read it often. You can add and delete from the list at later stages should things change. The point is, once you see how good a person you are and familiarise yourself with it, you will know who you truly are. Your confidence level will boost because it won't matter that John said you're unkind; you know already that your are a damn kind person! And your actions in time will show and shine liberally.

Only people who are insecure will allow others words to rule over them.

But don't get me wrong. Even confident people get hurt and maybe for an inkling of a second question themselves when others say they aren't so and so. But the difference is, confident people quickly brush it off and remind themselves how much of a queen they are.

Now look at your hobbies and passion list. This should steer you towards any career goals you have. If your number one passion is dancing then find ways to do. Tik Tok and You tube has come to favour and popularise dance videos. Work at it and show how you stand out.

Even if your goal is to work for someone else in a 9 to 5 job because you need a set monthly income then that's fine too! Enjoy it and make the most of everyday.

The important thing is to never permit others opinion to drown you, as long as you know what you want and who you are, then stand strong!

Combining my tips from 1 and 2 are truly unique and powerful ways to boost confidence!

3. Be kind to yourself. (No 3 is going to tie up 1 and 2 in a pretty bow.)

True story. A pretty lady had introduced herself to my life for a short period as a friend. Now I had two guys friends, both smart and good guys. The one guy thought that this slim pretty lady was perfect! He went crazy over her actually, because she was his type. The other guy didn't think much of her, he just wasn't into slim girls.

My moral of the story is, people can look at the same person and have different thoughts.

So it's no use that we allow what other people say to determine what we feel because it's all perception at the end of the day and only we ourselves know the truth.

You need to be good to yourself in order to gain confidence. It won't be an easy task but every time your thoughts become negative and bashful..."you're so stupid, you're so ugly, you're not thin enough, you're not curvy enough, you are a loser and failure, Sally said you're ugly, I can't get a boyfriend, something must be wrong with me etc..." you need to stop those thoughts!

They are hurting you and will cause you a great deal of insecurity. Adjust your thoughts (like when a queen adjusts her crown on her head) and fill your mind with kind, gentle supportive words because the saying of "what you think you become," is 100 percent true!

If your best friend came to you crying about something, would you tell her she's worthless and will never find love again?

Of course not! So don't do that to yourself  either. Love yourself and be good because you are your best friend! Cheer yourself on like you do when your friends come to you for advice. Change your perception as I mentioned in my point No. 1 and know who you are as I mentioned in point No. 2.

Keep the encouraging words to yourself going and watch how you end up soaring. 

4. Eat Healthy

Have you ever eaten a ton of sugary sweets and treats, felt really good at all the deliciousness you were devouring but then hours later hit a low and became moody and agitated and began to swear your cat for no reason?

We as life detectives know that sugar is BAD. It's unhealthy and messes with your energy levels which can then have an adverse mental effect. But it's not just sugar, it's all junk food!

And of course, healthy food has the opposite reaction. Because you are pumping your body with vital vitamins and minerals, your physical and mental health is at top peak and when you feel good on the inside it's so much better to focus and work on your confidence.

5. Smell nice, dress well.

I absolutely love when I walk into a room and a lavender or coconut or soft chocolate scent hits my nose. It just perks me up!

The same with humans. No one enjoys being around a funky smelling person, even if you should think they are attractive, but when we are around someone who smells good and clean, our senses just "feels happy."

 Scent, if done subtly and properly, can have a big impact on others and most of all, ourselves.

When we smell good, we feel good and when we feel good, it automatically makes it easier to feel confident. 

Even if you're feeling low or down, get into a shower or soak in a lovely scented bath, use one of the many divine smelling bath washes or soaps (hopefully the eco friendly ones) moisturise your skin with lotion and then add a gentle touch of deodorant. 

You will feel so much better leaving your house that day and without even putting much effort into trying, your confidence level rises! 

Believe me sleuths, scents can truly make a difference.

Dressing well has a similar outcome. Now I am NOT talking about buying expensive or designer brand clothes! 

This works with any type of clothes from ANY store. All you have to do is make sure your clothes are clean, unstained, washed regularly and ironed. When you wear them you will instantly feel so much better! Dress according to the style that makes you feel good, or if you need help, there's always google to help style you according to your body shape. 

I can guarantee you that walking out your house, dressed well and smelling fresh will make you feel alive, and this is a small, unique tip of how you can truly boost confidence - especially if you have been down in the dumps and feeling insecure.

The trial has now come to it's conclusion. It's been an informative journey with much evidence in between, but what exactly is your verdict? Let me know in the comments below.