Jesy Nelson leaving Little Mix and Cyber Bullying.

Hey Sleuths!

If you are an extra, extra large, obsessed to the core, love them to bits Little Mix fan, like I am :) then you MUST know by now that this popular girl group, who have not only produced an array of successful pop hits, and who have also prided themselves on being best friends on and off stage for the nine years they have been together and performing...have (GASP) lost a member.

Now they did let the world know that they would NEVER break up or leave the group. But alas, this week they were succumbed to the curse of almost all boy and girls bands ever - that is - the first member to call it quits.

Fortunately, Jesy Nelson, the super sexy female singer to have left this band behind has NO bad blood with her fellow BFF's.

Jesy Nelson

Nor did she want to leave this path to pursue a solo career (at least no mention of that has been publicized or spoken about.)

Instead, she said she left because she needed to focus on her mental health and that she now needed to put herself first. And for that, we can admire and applaud her bravery.

Mental health is so important and that's why I felt the need to discuss it in my blog today.

 Last year this time, Jesy came out with a documentary highlighting the pressures from society and cyber bullying she was facing. In fact, the bullying started from the very first night Little Mix won X-Factor.

According to Jesy, the night she and the girls were crowned winners, Jesy received tons of hate mail picking on her weight, looks and singing ability and it never stopped thereafter. The social media world showed it's brutal, ugly self in the worst possible way, chewing her up and spitting her out in that nasty manner it does to anyone who does not look like the slim, toned, shiny hair blah blah person they perceive to be "perfect" (Insert disgusted look on face here.)

They compared her to other members of the group and made it known she wasn't as slim or pretty as them.

I mean that is harsh! Having to constantly hear from strangers and people you know that you are not worthy enough or talented enough especially like so and so, can easily break down the most confident of persons.

Note: Jesy did mention that she NEVER had an issue with her weight prior to winning X factor. In other words she was pretty secure about herself until the wankers started giving her a hard time. 

And yes, it was strangers giving her a hard time; people she had never conversed with and never met and will never meet so why did she let those comments get to her?

Well, put yourself in her Louboutin shoes. Would you, who works so hard on your talents, growth, career, appearance etc really be 100% unaffected by degrading remarks that come from the public and of which are berating insults repeated over and over again?

Now, I DO NOT KNOW if this is the reason why Jesy left the group but she did mention that the pressure of being in a girl group was too much to bear and she needed to put herself first.

And while I, like almost every Little Mix fan was sad to hear the news, I fully respected her decision. I mean, it's so imperative that one takes care of oneself first. You feel me?

Of course, Jesy isn't the only human to be bullied; celebrity or not. 

And because this topic is so fatal yet lies under the radar when it comes to topics that really need to be exposed more often, I decided to investigate and pull up some (rather disturbing) stats. But first, I want to explain what Cyber Bullying is:

Cyber Bullying is any form of online abuse, harassment and derogatory remarks. Some examples of this includes, people who threaten others online, bullies who pick on other people's appearance, manners, beliefs and weight, hate speech, racists and those against LGBTQ.

Here are some shocking stats:

• Cyber Bullying (Online Bullying) is growing at an alarming rate. 36.5 percent of people have felt that they have been cyber bullied in their lifetime.
• Cyber Bullying occurs amongst kids AND adults. In the US, 40% of adults have experienced online harassment.
• 69% percent of people have reported to have done something abusive towards others online
• 36% of girls have reported cyber bullying compared to 26% of boys
• 83% of people who have been cyber bullied have also been bullied in reality and 69% who have bullied others online have admitted to also bullying others offline.
• Over 60% of students who experienced Cyber Bullying reported that it impacted their ability to learn and feel safe in school.
• Approximately 18% of youth experiencing Cyber Bullying have reported self harming.
• 1 in 20 adolescents who have been bullied online commit suicide in a year!
• Kids as young as nine and ten years old have killed themselves after facing online abuse and harassment.

That is so messed up! It's horrendous to think someone's words can have such an impact on another YET IT DOES! And I've heard some smart asses say, "Well toughen up!" 

See, the thing is, everyone has a story. We are not aware of what the next person's story is. We don't know what burden they had to carry or obstacles they had to to face during their life path. As strong as they may be in other areas, certain words could be trigger words. 

Example - someone in high school who is constantly called ugly, say for example by their parents, can develop low self esteem and while they may be academically strong, if scholars begin to also call them ugly, then that can really mess with their head and possibly lead to suicide, attempts at suicide, depression, anxiety etc.

So, please, watch what you say to others. Be kind! Your words can have such a strong impact to friends, family and strangers.

Also remember, no one is truly ugly, and no one is perfect! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds attractive, another person can find mediocre. And that's OK. So don't judge. And don't go making people feel like all they ever are is fat or useless, because that's not reality. 

If you have to criticize, then please make it constructive, by building the person up and not tearing them down, And NO...insults and hate speech and trying to change a person's lifestyle and belief and looks if they are happy with themselves and not asking for advice, are not constructive criticisms!! 

For those of you who are victims of Cyber Bullying, please speak to someone you trust. A family member, a teacher, a friend. Let them know what's going on and they will be able to assist you through this.

If you are feeling depressed, scared, anxious or suicidal about things, let someone who can help know exactly what you're feeling and going through. You are NOT a burden to anyone so never keep things bottled up and never feel embarrassed to talk about it or expose the bully to someone who can help. There are also suicidal helplines that you can call if you need to speak to someone. 

And know this, (although easier said then done): - Don't allow bullies and society to define who you are. You're you, so always be proud of it. Fat, thin, curvy, indian, white, asian, black, straight, gay, lesbian, bi etc...everyone is human and every one is beautiful in their own way! How boring would things be if we all looked the same and acted the same?!! 

Embrace the diversity and be aware that the bullies who bully online and in reality are actually all insecure, unhappy people who deep down feel like they are truly ugly themselves so there's a sadistic need to bring other people down to their low level. Even if these bullies act confident, trust me, they are not!! 

Parents, guardians, teachers etc who have access to kids social media should monitor what kids are posting online often. As an adult, be kind and teach kids to be kind to others. Hateful words and actions never ever does good to anyone so what's the point?

If you do see someone bullying others online, speak to them and let them know that what they're doing isn't right! Report them if you see that they are being abusive and threatening to someone. 

We can all play a small part in aiding to curb this atrocious and sad behavior that so many children and adults face in a world of social media and online forums. Yes, in this time and age, social media appears to be the "way of life" but remember, if you're a victim of bullying and times get too tough, take a break from social media as well. Clear your head and mind, grow, love yourself as you are, do the things you enjoy doing and when you come back you will see the bully will have probably moved onto other things. 

Acceptance can make such a beautiful difference in life and that's what we need to embrace and teach others around us.